We were best friends and enjoyed just being in one another’s presence. As a result of spending so much time together, we fell in love and discovered that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Yet like many couples, once married, we often found ourselves drifting apart because we no longer took the time to spend good, fun, quality time together.
Every marriage needs focused and intentional attention in order to keep the flame burning. Unfortunately, it seems so easy to take this vital relationship for granted. So many competing priorities such as raising the children, managing the household, working a job, and other important duties often take up our time and divert our focus away from our spouse and marriage.
Spending quality time together is an essential ingredient for keeping the marital bliss flowing, especially once the demands of parenthood kick in. While some marriages may require counseling or more intensive marital therapy, I am certain that most all couples can benefit by simply incorporating regular date nights without children into their busy schedules.
If you want to get out of your relationship rut and put fun and romance back into your marriage, here are some excellent resources and fun date night ideas to get you started:
- Datevitation.com is the web’s first custom love coupon platform where you can create a one-of-a-kind gift book full of fun things to do with your sweetie, or send electronic love coupons via email or facebook.
- Get a list of date night ideas that can be done inexpensively or at no cost at all from The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking. A couple of my favorites date ideas for married couples include:
- Remember when a mixed tape was the ultimate sign of affection? Put together a selection of songs that were popular when you first started dating. Go for a drive and enjoy the memories.
- Volunteer together. Often couples have their own interests and volunteer at separate venues, but seeing each other in action at the local soup kitchen or after school program could really bring you closer together.
- Amanda from The Mom Crowd gives some great advice about how to really focus on your spouse when it comes to preparing for your date night:
I believe date nights are incredibly important for healthy marriages. They build trust and encourage a break from the routine to just stop, relax, and enjoy one another. On the date you should not talk about the kids, work, or bills. Save those conversations for another time.Also, don’t think about the household chores that need to be done. If you are the type that can’t relax if there is a dish in the sink, then do all the dishes before your date and get take out that you can throw away. The point is to relax.
- Get creative with your calendar and pen in a date night at least once a month so you and your honey can take advantage of these creative date night ideas by SheKnows. There are some great date ideas listed but the ones that jumped out at me include:
- Revisiting the destination of your first date and all of the memories that go along with it.
- Every once in a while, spontaneously skip out on work and every other responsibility in the world and just enjoy each other.
- Lock and load your husband’s calendar with preset sex dates.Then, when the time comes, go all out for your sexcapade: Think romantic bubble bath, wild costume, new toy and so on.
- Pack a bag, a map, a cooler filled with favorite snacks, a camera and your sense of adventure, and hit the open road to who knows where!
- Love, Actually is a fantastic blog that gives a ton of creative ideas for romance on a budget. I particular love her Date of the Month Club kit which can be used for a cool Valentine’s Day gift or modified for any other romantic occasion such as wedding anniversary, Father’s Day or a birthday gift for your hubby.
- Remember how you thought about your spouse all the time before marriage? Remember wanting to make them happy by any means necessary? Still Dating My Spouse gives some thoughtful marriage and date night ideas to really help bring fun to the marriage. I loved her list of 5 Playful Date Night Ideas:
- Have a water gun fight and a picnic in the park (this is also fun in your backyard).
- Go roller skating-just know you may fall down again the laughs and the quality time will be priceless.
- Fly a Frisbee. We had the pleasure of having a special Frisbee made just for us from Send a Flying Card. The Frisbee has Still Dating My Spouse on it. We had so much fun throwing the Frisbee to each other but let me tell you, you will definitely get a workout in (smile).
- Go rock climbing
- Bowling is always fun
- Engaged Marriage is a website community run by Dustin, a devoted husband and father, who focuses on providing candid and practical advice that you can learn and
put into action without a huge time commitment. The site emphasizes the importance of finding time to devote to improve your married life and gives practical and fun action steps that you can apply to your own relationship. I particularly loved his post on breaking up the routine by having a romantic “Date Day”, especially if you’re finding it difficult to schedule in a date night.
- Get more fun and romantic date ideas than you can handle at Hot Date Ideas. There were many creative date ideas that I loved, but the one about using your date time to accomplish a meaningful goal or to do something on your bucket list really appealed to me. A few date night activities include:
- Ride a motorcycle
- Go Rock Climbing
- See a Nascar race, tennis tournament, or other live event
- Work your way up to the high dive or maybe even skydiving
- Climb a mountain
- Visit the east coast in the fall to watch the leaves turn
Making time to date your mate is an important investment, not just in the health and well-being of your marriage, but also in your family, and in yourself. The foundation of your family’s life is built upon the relationship between you and your spouse. If either or both of you are unfulfilled, the entire family is affected. I love the advice given by Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg about the importance of making your spouse a priority:
First things first – your spouse needs to come to the top of your priority list – just a bubble behind Jesus. You need to give your spouse priority access to your time – instead of just the leftovers. Priority time for your spouse means occasional date nights and getaway weekends. These type of events need to be planned ahead of time, of course, because if you wait until the last minute, you may have trouble fitting them into your busy life. But priority time also means smaller time slots each day, such as having dinner together, taking a brief walk, spending time talking, playing a game, or watching a favorite program together.
If you and your spouse haven’t really “dated” for awhile, and you’re not sure where to start, just start simple. Think back to what the two of you enjoyed doing together before you got married. Think about what your spouse likes to do. Think of something new the two of you can try together. It doesn’t have to be something elaborate! If you used to go for walks in the park together – try that! If your husband loves sports – go to a game with him! If your wife loves antiques – go antique shopping with her! If the two of you have never taken dance lessons – sign up and go together! The idea is to get the two of you some alone time together – time to reconnect as husband and wife!
Incorporating fun date nights with your husband will go a long way in terms of rekindling romance and rediscovering the reasons why you fell in love in the first place. We should never stop learning how to date our mates.
When is the last time you went on a date with your spouse? What are some of your fun date night suggestions? Share them in the comments as I’d love to read them and get more great date ideas for my own marriage.
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